Do-Over

My summer vacation is officially over.  Today, I headed back to work for the 2013-14 school year.  As I sat in our first district assembly meeting,

I listened to what our educational leaders expected from us this school year.  Our district’s educational grade for the last school year was an "F".  Low blow, despite all the reasons we can come up with to explain why the grade isn’t fair.  Sitting there, I thought of my life.  What grade would I give myself for the past few years?  Well, let’s be fair…What grade would someone else give me?  Probably an “F”. 
Just like my school system, I have to make some changes.  (I’ve actually already started.)  The hardest part of change is letting go of the things that are comfortable, and starting over from scratch.  Scratch is just about where I am.  This week I’m in the process of packing up my house in preparation to move back home with my parents once again.  I just recently made this decision, and I am still questioning my choice daily.  I know that moving home is what’s best.  I’m pregnant, single, and I have two busy children.  I need help!  Moving home also affords me the luxury of saving money in order to one day purchase the home of my dreams.  So, why am I apprehensive?  Because it’s uncomfortable, scary and challenging! But I need the change, badly!

Let’s be clear, my moving back home is not only a physical change, but it is most definitely a spiritual change. 

You know the story of the Israelites and how they traveled around the same mountain for 40 years, well, I am an Israelite, re-doing that which I haven’t perfected.  I’m not just moving home for help or savings, but moving home allows God to continually humble me and teach me the lessons that somehow I missed or was too hard-headed to learn. 

Packing this week, in the natural, I realize that I have a lot of things that I need to get rid of permanently.  I have clothes galore—things I wear, things I haven’t worn, and things I will probably never wear.  I have mountains of letters, cards, bills and the like, too many shoes, pictures, drawings, and other old and unnecessary memories which for the most part all amount to STUFF…too much STUFF.  Those that are helping me pack have to persuade me to give up some of these things that I have accumulated through the years.  For me this is tough, but I have no choice… mainly because my parents won’t allow me to bring all of my “stuff” into their home again. 

God is doing the same thing spiritually in me.  He is removing and deleting everything thing that I can’t take with me to my next stop on this journey—everything that separates me from Him!  He is cleansing me of myself, bad habits, faulty thinking, and some friends.  This is uncomfortable and unfamiliar, but down this path I must tread.  I am determined no matter how hard it is to be better…much better. 

Pray for me; this purging is with hyssop (Psalm 51:7).

This has been Melva’s TRUTH.

 Remember:  I am not the good news, Jesus is!

***One Day I Will Tell My Kids       Entry #7

Dear Chandler,

Between you and Cameron, you are most like me.  We have so much in common until it is scary.  The very things that I love about me, you seemingly received a double portion.  Unfortunately, the things that aggravate me about myself, I also see in you. Like any mother, I want you to better than me in every way.  

The first piece of advice I want to give you in this letter is to adhere to all the Godly wisdom given to you by those who love you and love Christ.  I know people say that we learn through experience, but some lessons can be trusted/learned through those that have already traveled those roads.  You don’t have to make the same mistakes that I have made.  You are an individual.  Make your own decisions based on the Word of God.  Receive wisdom from those around you. Don’t follow in my bad footsteps. 

Jesus broke the curse of generational curses when He died for you.  Don’t pick back up those things that you have been delivered from.  It is not worth it.  You don’t want to have to travel around the same mountain for 40 years…but if for some reason, you find that you are circling the mountain for the second or the third time, resolve to learn the lesson.  Be willing to do what is necessary to get out of the wilderness.

Take it from Mommy and learn from my errors.

Love you much,
Mommy