Just like exercise, I have never enjoyed taking tests or
going through trials, but this time around I am looking at the situation a
little differently. My tests and trials are
strengthening exercises for my faith in God.
I get it now…I accept it.
Anything for you God!
Monday a week ago I got up and prepared for work as I do
each week day. I dropped my five and six
year olds off at school, and then slowly walked into my school building feeling
the pressure of the world in my womb. As
you know, I am pregnant. Last week I was
32 weeks pregnant. I was so
excited! I had made it thirty-two
weeks! You see, my first baby was
delivered at 32 weeks and my second baby was delivered at 28 weeks. The odds were that my third child could be
born earlier than even the 28 weeks. So
beating the odds and making it again to 32 weeks was very monumental for
me. I was praising God, yet I felt the
pressure…my unborn baby was pushing again.
No, it wasn’t the first time I had felt her.
I won’t say that I ignored signs by continuing to work. I would say that I simply looked to God and
kept moving forward. My prayer during
this pregnancy is to carry my baby 40 weeks-- to term! Not only do I want to experience a full term
pregnancy, I want my baby to be healthy, and I also look forward to bringing my
new baby girl home with me when I am released from the hospital. I‘ve never done that. Chandler, my older child, stayed in the NICU
for 18 days, and Cameron, my baby (bless his heart), remained hospitalized for
nine and a half months! There is nothing
in me that looks forward to having anything similar happen this time.
A couple of weeks prior to last Monday morning, people
started to suggest that my baby had dropped. (That usually means that the baby
is preparing for birth, so people, not my doctor, say.) I think I saw that change, but I’m not
sure. All I knew then was that I had a
little over two months to go in my pregnancy.
My doctors at the time where not concerned about anything in particular
so I kept moving…yes forward.
I was moving forward, but people seemed to want to be my
doctors. I was always hearing, “Oh, you
are not going to make it to your due date,” or “That baby is coming
early!” It didn’t seem to matter that
they knew why I was holding out for November (because of my complicated history
with childbirth). I would become
irritated easily. I just wanted people
to do like me and hope/pray for the best. God’s best! I understand that God allows early births,
just like He allows other things to happen in our lives that we don’t always
understand or want. But does that mean
we don’t focus on His best for us? Of
course not! When I pray, I pray that I
will have a wonderful healthy pregnancy that results with a wonderful healthy
baby. That is God’s will, no matter what
He allows to happen. People just don’t
get that though. They focus on what they
see or think…I’m sorry, I refuse to go there.
I don’t have to accept reality because my God produces miracles!
Chandler was not only born early, but her umbilical cord was
wrapped around her neck twice and it was also in a knot. She lived, against man’s odds. Cameron was also born early with the
umbilical cord wrapped around his neck.
He wasn’t breathing. The doctors
had given up on him just hours after his birth.
No one including me thought he’d live, but he did. Then the doctors didn’t think that he’d
thrive. He did! Miracles!
Miracles, I say, do you hear me? I have been blessed against odds. So I have no choice but to believe that God
can and will do it again! My faith in
this area is strong! I speak only the
Word of God over my life and my children’s lives. And still, I am mature enough to accept
whatever God allows. I know that this pregnancy is just another exercise to get me to where God wants me to be.
As I digress, I ask those who speak, maybe without thinking
of how words affect others, to choose to speak God’s Word only. After this experience and realizing how it
makes me feel to hear people hypothesize over my life and situation, I am
definitely choosing to speak life…through God’s life- giving Word!
Okay, so back to Monday a week ago…I made it through Monday
and on to Tuesday. Tuesday, I had an
afternoon doctor’s appointment. The
appointment went well. My doctor who is
a praying Christian encouraged me to remain focused on my goal. He even told me he would pray for me
specifically. (Not because he expected
the worse, but because I‘d shared with him my irritation with others.) After my doctor’s appointment, I had to go
take a Non Stress Test at the hospital because of my past history with pre-term
births. Wouldn’t you know it, after
leaving my doctor’s office in good spirits, my baby didn’t pass her Non Stress
Test. I had an ultrasound, and she
didn’t pass that either. More tests and trials...Immediately, I
wanted to become stressed and worried.
(Remember, the test and trials are my exercises…) But a really small voice inside of me
reassured me that my future and my baby’s future was in God’s hands. Just like that I let go. I was able to laugh and smile. My faith in Christ allowed that! Proof that I am getting stronger. What you don’t know is that not only did the
baby fail her tests, but I was having contractions and I had started to
dilate. Yep! It looked like all those people were
right. I looked like they knew what they
were talking about. Yet, still, I chose
and choose to hold to God’s Word. It is
His will that I prosper and not be harmed, and all things work together for my
good. I left the hospital on Tuesday
night, and my baby is still where she needs to be today! Praise God!
I feel like shouting!!!
So I have 7 more weeks to go…I have been put back on bed rest.
(I was on bed rest at the onset of this pregnancy.) That means I am making no money right
now. Bummer…but God! He knew this!
I have no doubt that that’s why I am living with my parents again. Without their help I can’t imagine what I’d
do right now. I am exercising my faith
and trust in God. Only looking
forward…forward…forward! Things aren’t
going the way I planned, but to the glory of God they are going! And I have no doubt that God is my Orchestrator--my Exercise Coach!! No doubt!
Pray for me and baby girl.
Join my faith train—speaking only God’s Word over situations! I am 33 weeks and two days…reaching for forty weeks! Your prayers are
appreciated! The earnest prayer of a
righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results (James 5:16b).
This has been Melva’s TRUTH.
Remember: I am not the good news—Jesus is!I am so happy that God saw fit to give you to me. Chandler and Cameron, you both had rough starts, but God blessed you and me, and we made it through. Unborn baby girl, I have faith that you will enter this world healthy and happy, but I want you to know that it wasn’t with ease that you arrived. I am having to trust God and my doctors the entire time. You just seem so anxious to get here right now, but with my taking it easy and trying to live a stress free life (haha—as much as possible), I know that you will hold out, and I thank God in advance for that right now! Thank You, Jesus!
Chan and Cam, when you were born, I didn’t speak life into my situation from my heart. Yes, I quoted scriptures and asked people to pray for me, but what God’s Word was capable of had not yet been manifested in my life to the point that I could understand it and stand on it. But with you Baby Girl, I am in a different place. I now not only pray God’s Word, but I believe God’s Word no matter what the outcome. I trust God with all of our lives.
As you all grow up, I want you to learn to put all of your
trust in the Lord. Don’t focus on the
situation or what people say, no matter how dim it looks. Remember that God brought you three out of
dim looking situations and because He is the same God, He can do it again. Speak His Word into your lives and the lives
of others; it’s the only way to go. The
power of life and death is in the tongue.
I have no doubt that God will work according to your faith. And even when things don’t turn out the way
you would like, know that God is still in control and He doesn’t make any
mistakes. Your lives are my testimonies…
And remember your tests and trials only work to exercise you
faith!
Love you much,
Mommy
No comments:
Post a Comment